Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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