You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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