the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize