tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
