I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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