stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
