you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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