her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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