If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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