Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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