For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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