If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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