just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
