Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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