1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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