does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
