going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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