I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
