Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize