I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
