wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize