He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
you're hired as official boob wrangler
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Dicks are not precious.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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