so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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