Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I don't think brook has ever known best
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
