you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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