Need sex. Gaining weight.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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