Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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