so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
