okay pat passed out under dana's car
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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