I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize