Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
