i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Randomize
