where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
