I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
