we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize