Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
