In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Randomize
