We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
All the doctor said was why
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
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