Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I currently don't understand fingers.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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