i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
