When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
