k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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