Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
