let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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