Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize