Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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