I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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