I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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