Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
