I just made out with a guy for $7.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
