Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
