Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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