is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize