Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
