Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Church boner. Awkwardddd
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
