oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
