idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Just puked most of my soul out..
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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