you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
