matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i would punch a child for taco bell
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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