It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
