if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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