I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
