It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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