Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
you would pick up someone in the library
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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