Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
