Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
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