I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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