have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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