Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
