I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Randomize
