I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
