It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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