I must be too annoying 4 u.
There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
