Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
