He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
