i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
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