Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Randomize
