In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
