Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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