are you so shy because you have an std?
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
