If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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