Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
i think im in europe. pls send help
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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