I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
