It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
